Too Late, Ladies of Nutrition...

Hanukkah Claus has succumbed to the request of Sibling #6. Behold the Masterbuilt Four Seasons Electric Digital Fryer ~ Steamer ~ Boiler. This device can accomplish the following (and I am NOT kidding; the amounts are exactly what it reads on the box):

(To the tune of "The 12 Days of Christmas" ... Music, maestro...)

On the 25th Day of Christmas, Hanukkah Howard gave to meeeeee...

"10 pounds of crab legs
10 pounds of chicken fingers, french fries AND fried shrimp
6 pounds of boiled shrimp
5 pounds of buffalo wings
4 cornish hens
2 whole chickens
3 mounds of vegetables
A "low-country boil" (We don't actually know what this is...) for 10 people
and a 14 pound - big, honkin' - turkey"

OK, it doesn't say "big, honkin Turkey." It just says 14 pound turkey. But everything else, including the amounts, is word-for-word on the side of the box.

Shaun is going to have a monster food climax just gazing at this thing.